How to Not Positively Affirm Yourself Out of Reality
When the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.
So you know how we are always hearing, “Oh the grass is always greener on the other side!”
Truth Bomb #1: It’s NOT always greener on the other side, or it can take longer than what we’d like to get there.
On one of my many long, hiking walks with Mom today, we noted how along the Santa Ana River Trail (pictured above) there are patches where the sandy, 21 year-drought-stricken dirt has a very clear partition between it and these flourishing marshes with mini waterfalls and reservoirs with hordes of wildlife living there.
Here’s the thing: sometimes we can positively affirm ourselves out of reality. “Girl get out my feed!!” you say while poised to burn your keyboard with furious typing. But just a minute, and hear me out about this. It’ll change your life and your mindset about reality.
I’ll be the first person to tell you that I am 1000% a proponent of a positive and safe environment. But I will also be the first person to tell you that this persona of always being okay, always smiling away pain, and trying to save face for others NEEDS to go. Now more than ever, we have been challenged to see that the grass has not been greener on the other side, and we likely won’t see that for a while.
As with anything, there needs to be a balance between staying positive and facing down the struggles in your reality like no other. Releasing and dealing with pain, anxiety, and past traumas. Putting your head in the sand and trying to suppress dealing with things with “positivity” isn’t going to make it just go away magically. It takes time, work, and sometimes long stretches of “drought” before you reach that flourishing part of your life.
Be HONEST with yourself and with others. We say that we feel alone, that our attitudes are negative and miserable, that our anxiety surfaces often, that we don’t like how unhealthy we are, how crappy our diets are, that we don’t feel attractive to our spouses anymore, and fear they may leave because of it, that we don’t want our kids to see us this way, that our mental health is suffering, etc.
But, how willing are we to do our part of not simply saying, “Oh it’ll get better someday”/”the grass is greener on the other side” and sitting on our hands, instead of being upfront and saying, “Hey, I’m struggling with xyz, and I really need help.” “I don’t feel well or good about myself, please help me.”
Truth bomb #2: People don’t know that you’re struggling until you SPEAK. None of us are telepaths! And when you do this, I can guarantee you that the majority of the time, people will be more than happy to hear you out, encourage you, and support you in the most empathetic way possible. They even may be feeling alone with some of their own struggles, but they no longer feel alone because they talked with you.
I leave you with this: The only one responsible for getting through those drought seasons, is YOU. YOU are the catalyst. Make the most of it!
